The past few weeks have been hard. Really hard. I finally said goodbye to my dad, who died unexpectedly a little over a year ago. I said goodbye to the woman that I love. And I moved to a new home, too.
I have lots of reflections on my dad and how important it is to support those we love, even if that support means that a relationship needs to end so that they can achieve their dreams and aspirations. But for now I just need to process those thoughts, emotions, and reflections. If there’s any saving grace, it’s that my adopted family — even those who live abroad — are all living close to me.
Inspiring Quotation of the Week
Real love teaches us. It teaches us what we do and do not want in a partner. We learn how to be better at love from the ones we loved first. If we just got over all of that and truly erased the entire experience from the space in our hearts and minds where that love once occupied, then wouldn’t we just continue making the same mistakes over and over? If loving someone were as fleeting as we often try to make it be and we could “just get over it,” we wouldn’t bother with it anymore. What would be the point?
I think it is because we never fully get over the love we once had for someone that entices us to love again. It is because we remember that love that we want it again. We love a little deeper, a little more completely with each love we find. We want love to last. With every love we lose, we learn just how precious and valuable it is. It is how we ultimately (hopefully) find the one we never have to get over.
- Jennifer Sartore Hulst, “I’m Not Over You (And Probably Never Will Be)
Music I’m Digging
- I spent less time listening to new albums this week, and so instead had SZA’s Ctrl and Robotaki’s Science-EP on repeat.
Neat Podcast Episodes
- Lawfare – Artificial Intelligence and Security//A recommended primer for how AI may impact the future of computer security.
- Lawfare – Radek Sikorsky on the Week’s Events in Poland//I haven’t really been following the democratic crisis in Poland very closely, and this podcast did a good job in bringing me up to speed on what the currrent right-wing populist government is doing to change the constitution to the detriment of the rule of law.
- The Daily – How the Opioid Crisis Started//The New York Times has done a good job on reporting on the opioid crisis in the USA, with this episode focusing on how prosecutors have been barred from laying charges against the executives who are most responsible for propagating the opioids that are now creating a major health crisis in the USA and Canada alike.
- Song Exploder – Jhéne Aiko- Sativa (feat. Swae Lee) and Song Exploder – Nine Inch Nails – The Lovers//I’ve only just started listening to Song Exploder but I’m appreciating how different artists go through their creative processes. Hearing how other creatives work is helpful for me, personally, because it makes clear that we all have our oddities and weirdnesses around the production of final draft creative work.
Good Reads for the Week
- When you don’t disclose salary range on a job posting, a unicorn loses its wings//There’s a severe problem in both non-profit and for-profit hiring: a failure to disclose what people will earn in any given position. Without that information it’s challenging for applicants to know whether it’s worth their time to bother applying, and can lead to applicants (and hiring committees!) wasting a lot of time before realizing that the salary range isn’t appropriate for the applicant’s expectations. Appropriate ranges should be included in all positions, and with ranges that are meaningfully bounded as opposed to massive ranges that prevent applicants from really knowing the likely salary.
- Advertising Play Well//A delightful take on how advertising to children has changed, and why Lego used to be a leader in gender neutral play-based advertising and products.
- The Electric Flight of Spiders//Fascinating new research shows that spiders use electrostatic repulsion to ‘fly’ using strands of silk emitted from their abdomen’s. While wind current plays a role, it’s the electrostatic repulsion that actually let’s arachnids take flight. Amazing!
- Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s ‘Apes**t’ Was a Subtle History Lesson in Race and Power//I’m finding the various analyses of this video really interesting, as different authors explore the cultural and political significance of the chosen imagery. This goes a step further by not just interpreting the video but drawing it into a broader landscape of artistic critique, and which blends a range of lyrics from Jay-Z and Beyoncé to come to more sweeping conclusions.
Cool Things and Places
- A Weekend Guide to Detroit//I’ve wanted to head over to Detroit for a while — I’d love to photograph the art! — and this provides a more fulsome ‘what to do over a weekend’ so I could head over and never get bored!
- The Lost Caves of Nottingham//A very hidden gin bar, that involves descending a hidden staircase and, then, a second staircase cut into the earth itself. Very cool.
“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other.”